As a child, there's always someone to look up to, a superhero of sorts. Whether they're real or not, you never think to question if somebody has your back. Especially since, usually, your parents are your immediate superheroes. My superheroes were two psychologists, a pediatrician, and a psychiatrist. Not your typical knights in shining armor, warding off closet monsters and goblins at the door of my subconscious.
Nonetheless, this is how it came to be. Identifying more with outsiders than my own blood. Thus, explaining the difficulty in answering, "what do you consider home?" The only choice I had to answer this, was to face my fear of many years. Explore the detrimental voices in my head, the people they're connected to and additionally to reinvent and re-illustrate my memories. To do so, I had to aggressively challenge myself to think and create positively. Which was executed through the use of a film, rather than digital, camera. Lessening the chance of self conscious editing and belittlement, and instead force myself to focus on creating a new home. An archive of optimism, born through found and created images.
Lastly, both my mother and former partner, having to meet deadlines, and thinking in opposites (due to my stubborn nature) all tremendously helped to ensure a positive outlook to the process and work as a whole. Although "More Than a Cat" is still a work in progress, I, for the first time in my life can comfortably give myself credit for something. I now realize I am capable of being in a positive state of mind and can create beauty in response. And that's much better than yesterday's Danielle.
